Dick Clark passed away April 18, 2012.
We can no longer ring in the New Year.
Well played, Mayans. Well played.
Jokes
Moderator: scott
Re: re: Jokes
You see? I'm very disappointed indeed!murilo wrote:This is a POLL!
A friend of mine seeks a good name for his dog!
For sure, every country will have a proper nickname. C8
In my country we have near to 50 names for this, and I thought I was going to get a real extraordinaire international name!
For the while, we'll adopt the provisional name: 'bingulim johnson', where part is a name used by little brazilian kids and jonhson which I really like!
'Photo chop' can be a 2nd choice... ?8
Thanks!
M
PS edition: sorry for Dick, mayan!
-
rasselasss
- Aficionado
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:19 pm
- Location: northern ireland
re: Jokes
I was thinking this morning about Murilo and how i would enjoy his workshop facilities the good weather and agreeable temperatures,then i got to thinking about those voluptuous Brazilian women and how it would shorten my life ....but what a way to go!..........at my age i'd only be able to look at them!
re: Jokes
rasss,
for sure, you are maybe TOO much optimist about Brazil and our girls and TOO pessimist about your self and your age!
There are girls to all ages... and you may be a candidate to brother-in-law position, as done by a member of this forum/ 8)
A solution would be if you come to see with your own eyes!
Maybe you'll like all main differences, some of our large problems and people free cordiality.
Traveling is a kind of art where your home must be at your country and you adjust your mind and eyes just to good things.
I have been in 25 places and I liked to all... but to love a place is another thing, and many visitors love my country if they bring good will, some money and c. cards. 8)
Welcome!
Best!
M
for sure, you are maybe TOO much optimist about Brazil and our girls and TOO pessimist about your self and your age!
There are girls to all ages... and you may be a candidate to brother-in-law position, as done by a member of this forum/ 8)
A solution would be if you come to see with your own eyes!
Maybe you'll like all main differences, some of our large problems and people free cordiality.
Traveling is a kind of art where your home must be at your country and you adjust your mind and eyes just to good things.
I have been in 25 places and I liked to all... but to love a place is another thing, and many visitors love my country if they bring good will, some money and c. cards. 8)
Welcome!
Best!
M
-
rasselasss
- Aficionado
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:19 pm
- Location: northern ireland
re: Jokes
Mick and Paddy were sea-fishing in a small row boat off the coast of Cork,Paddy pulled on board a sealed bottle which was floating past,he uncorked it and out popped a Genie who said "i'll grant you one wish anything you want but you have only 3 seconds to decide then i'm gone"...Paddy surprised by the suddeness of it all blurted out quickly....turn the sea into Guinness and we can sit in the boat today and every day drinking......in a flash the Genie was gone and the sea turned into Guinness,..... Mick said,"Jesus,Paddy what have you done,you know this means we'll have to piss inside the boat."
re: Jokes
So is our now-days life...
Internet + sports = culture! 8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqtMOYm1 ... ature=fvwp
Learn some self explained Spanish... it can be very helpful in future!
(legends in Portuguese is a plus! 8)
Internet + sports = culture! 8)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqtMOYm1 ... ature=fvwp
Learn some self explained Spanish... it can be very helpful in future!
(legends in Portuguese is a plus! 8)
re: Jokes
Not exactly a joke, since this story may represent a sad side of some behavior!
A drunk guy was looking for something under a light post in front his house.
Time pass and he keeps searching for something...
A passing neighbor asked him about what he was looking for under that light post.
He said he was looking for his keys.
Neighbor says why he was looking just under the light and not in other places around...
He responds: 'I'm looking just HERE because I'm not stupid and those other places are TOO DARK!'
A drunk guy was looking for something under a light post in front his house.
Time pass and he keeps searching for something...
A passing neighbor asked him about what he was looking for under that light post.
He said he was looking for his keys.
Neighbor says why he was looking just under the light and not in other places around...
He responds: 'I'm looking just HERE because I'm not stupid and those other places are TOO DARK!'
-
rasselasss
- Aficionado
- Posts: 919
- Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:19 pm
- Location: northern ireland
re: Jokes
An overweight man 350 lb's.(159 kg's) visits his Doctor complaining of stomach pains,the Doctors asks what he usually has for breakfast ,he replied 2 bowls of porridge ,a loaf of bread toasted and 12 scrambled eggs , what about lunch the Doc. said,he replied,14lb. potatoes,2 lb.steak and vegetables washed down with a bottle or two of wine,what about supper the Doc. asked,a loaf of bread and 12 fried eggs washed down with 6 pints of Guinness,he replied.The Doctor then asked him to drop his trousers and underpants and bend over the examination couch and proceeded to examine his bum....".Ah "exclaimed the Doc. i found the problem...What is it the man replied in alarm....and the Doctor said ...........You've only one arsehole!!
-
daanopperman
- Devotee
- Posts: 1548
- Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:43 pm
re: Jokes
The Arab army was in the desert for maneuvers . ( training )In the evening they set up camp in a wadi . Suddenly from behind a dune a frail Israeli appeared and shouted a lot of crap at the Arabs .
The OC commanded 2 men and instructed them to catch that Jew alive for questioning . As the 2 Arabs ran up the dune , the Jew disappeared down the other side . 5 min's later , the Jew is back , visibly pissed off with more and louder insults . 10 men , fetch that Jew , I want him alive for questioning the OC said . 10 Arabs ran up the dune and as before , the Jew disappeared down the other side . Dust and bullets filled the desert air for 6 min's . After the dust settled , there was a badly beaten up Jew on the dune , full of blood and bullet wounds . As the Commander raised his arm to send the whole Arab army to catch the Jew alive for torture , a stuffed up Arab came crawling over the dune behind the Jew waving his hands . Stop !!! he shouted , go back , go back , It's a trap , there are 2 of them .
The OC commanded 2 men and instructed them to catch that Jew alive for questioning . As the 2 Arabs ran up the dune , the Jew disappeared down the other side . 5 min's later , the Jew is back , visibly pissed off with more and louder insults . 10 men , fetch that Jew , I want him alive for questioning the OC said . 10 Arabs ran up the dune and as before , the Jew disappeared down the other side . Dust and bullets filled the desert air for 6 min's . After the dust settled , there was a badly beaten up Jew on the dune , full of blood and bullet wounds . As the Commander raised his arm to send the whole Arab army to catch the Jew alive for torture , a stuffed up Arab came crawling over the dune behind the Jew waving his hands . Stop !!! he shouted , go back , go back , It's a trap , there are 2 of them .
-
daanopperman
- Devotee
- Posts: 1548
- Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:43 pm
re: Jokes
Sorry , I keep on loosing a connection and never knows if anything was posted .
Re: re: Jokes
dann,daanopperman wrote:The Arab army was in the desert for maneuvers . ( training )In the evening they set up camp in a wadi . Suddenly from behind a dune a frail Israeli appeared and shouted a lot of crap at the Arabs .
The OC commanded 2 men and instructed them to catch that Jew alive for questioning . As the 2 Arabs ran up the dune , the Jew disappeared down the other side . 5 min's later , the Jew is back , visibly pissed off with more and louder insults . 10 men , fetch that Jew , I want him alive for questioning the OC said . 10 Arabs ran up the dune and as before , the Jew disappeared down the other side . Dust and bullets filled the desert air for 6 min's . After the dust settled , there was a badly beaten up Jew on the dune , full of blood and bullet wounds . As the Commander raised his arm to send the whole Arab army to catch the Jew alive for torture , a stuffed up Arab came crawling over the dune behind the Jew waving his hands . Stop !!! he shouted , go back , go back , It's a trap , there are 2 of them .
for long years I haven't laugh so much... I even have pain in my face! 8>
That's pure and genuine international humor! 8]
Dann, are you maybe a Republican?
-
daanopperman
- Devotee
- Posts: 1548
- Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:43 pm
re: Jokes
murilo ,
I am very happy you liked the joke , some people only laugh at my idea's for a wheel , also until their faces ache . Not a rep. nor a dem . , but not a communist .
I am very happy you liked the joke , some people only laugh at my idea's for a wheel , also until their faces ache . Not a rep. nor a dem . , but not a communist .
-
daanopperman
- Devotee
- Posts: 1548
- Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:43 pm
re: Jokes
Gatiep (Cape coloured ) and his wife Maraai is in the bank for a transaction when robbers enter and rob the bank . The robber turns to a client and ask the man , " Did you see me rob the bank " whereupon the man said " Yes , I have seen you rob the bank ". The robber aims his gun at the mans head and pulled the trigger , killing him on the spot . He then turns to Gatiep and ask the same question . " No sir , I saw nothing , but my wife saw everything . "
Re: re: Jokes
dann,daanopperman wrote:murilo ,
I am very happy you liked the joke , some people only laugh at my idea's for a wheel , also until their faces ache . Not a rep. nor a dem . , but not a communist .
I bet you was republican!
m