No offense meant. Funny though.
Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes
(Must Read Out Loud)
1) That's not rightÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â….Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitiveÂ…Â…Â…Â…..Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAPÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Kum Hia
4) Stupid ManÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â….Dum Gai
5) Small HorseÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beachÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped the coffee tableÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â….Ai Bang Mai Ni
8) I think you need a face liftÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…..Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in hereÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Wai So Dim
10) I thought you were on a dietÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â….Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zoneÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â….No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next weekÂ…Â…Â…WaiYu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sightÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…Â…..Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobileÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â…Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensiveÂ…Â…Â…Â…Â….Yu Stin Ki Pu
Jokes
Moderator: scott
re: Jokes
Michael.
While serving Our country, I had the pleasure of meeting the Me family.
There was Mr. and Mrs. Me, who had a family of four daughters.
There was;
Me to old too
Me no yen too
Me to young too
And my favorite; Me love too.
.
While serving Our country, I had the pleasure of meeting the Me family.
There was Mr. and Mrs. Me, who had a family of four daughters.
There was;
Me to old too
Me no yen too
Me to young too
And my favorite; Me love too.
.
re: Jokes
ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !!
1.. You walka pasta da bakery.
2.. You walka pasta da candy store.
3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
4... You walka pasta da table and fridge.
You will lose weight!
AND......
CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat,here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat
lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
.....CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
1.. You walka pasta da bakery.
2.. You walka pasta da candy store.
3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.
4... You walka pasta da table and fridge.
You will lose weight!
AND......
CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat,here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat
lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
.....CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
re: Jokes
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young student nurse appears at his bedside to give him a sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask her again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, manages a smile and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very closely...
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?
A young student nurse appears at his bedside to give him a sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask her again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, manages a smile and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very closely...
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?
re: Jokes
A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees an unbelievably beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat.
A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turns, smiles and says, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.
Whoa!!! He swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "So, what's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer", she says, "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that African Americans men are the most physically well endowed when, in fact, I have found it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
"Really" the man says I didn't know that.
"Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it's men of Jewish decent."
"No kidding, I've never heard that."
"And for stamina you just can't beat a southern redneck.
Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Oh, I'm sorry" says the man says as he extends his hand. "Tonto, Tonto Goldstein but my friends just call me Bubba."
:0)
A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turns, smiles and says, "Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.
Whoa!!! He swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "So, what's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer", she says, "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?"
"Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that African Americans men are the most physically well endowed when, in fact, I have found it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
"Really" the man says I didn't know that.
"Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it's men of Jewish decent."
"No kidding, I've never heard that."
"And for stamina you just can't beat a southern redneck.
Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"
"Oh, I'm sorry" says the man says as he extends his hand. "Tonto, Tonto Goldstein but my friends just call me Bubba."
:0)
re: Jokes
Someone just sent me this. Some of these are pretty funny.
http://www.chrudat.com/the_best_cyber_sex.html
http://www.chrudat.com/the_best_cyber_sex.html
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ken_behrendt
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re: Jokes
Michael...
That cyber sex messaging where "bloodninja" become a wizard was a riot...I laughted so hard that my lungs started to ache! Thanks for the link.
ken
That cyber sex messaging where "bloodninja" become a wizard was a riot...I laughted so hard that my lungs started to ache! Thanks for the link.
ken
On 7/6/06, I found, in any overbalanced gravity wheel with rotation rate, ω, axle to CG distance d, and CG dip angle φ, the average vertical velocity of its drive weights is downward and given by:
Vaver = -2(√2)πdωcosφ
Vaver = -2(√2)πdωcosφ