Just for a laugh
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their
Collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school
Essays.
Here are last year's top 25 winners.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
Gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances,
Like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
Those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
Speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
Without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.Coli, and he was
Room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
Just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
Because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
At a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
Bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
Filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
Eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
You fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
The grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
Left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. Traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
At
4:19 p.m. At a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
That resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
Had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was
The East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap,
Only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
This plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
Eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
But a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
Mine
Or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender
Leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around
With power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
As if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Jokes
Moderator: scott
re: Jokes
ENRON, by the sea......!
1.4 trillion dollars missing, + $20 million more for the Audit,....... and no one is in jail.....?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14250286/
san diego ca........ " by hook or by crook " ..........:)
1.4 trillion dollars missing, + $20 million more for the Audit,....... and no one is in jail.....?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14250286/
san diego ca........ " by hook or by crook " ..........:)
re: Jokes
An Iowa farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground!
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
This would fit better in other threads but I thought I had better not! LOL
Ralph
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground!
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
This demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
This would fit better in other threads but I thought I had better not! LOL
Ralph
re: Jokes
bush, thinks he is above the law .....
if you don't like the laws in san diego , just waite .....they will chang them.....in this case .....17 years.....
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14344275/
if you don't like the laws in san diego , just waite .....they will chang them.....in this case .....17 years.....
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14344275/
re: Jokes
[Cat.: Computer/Tech ] [a] [ Calif.: 7.86]
Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:
"Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:
"Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
re: Jokes
Subject: Can you smell it?
A young girl (18ish) walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around
at all the Porsches, Lamborghini's, Jags etc., and says to the salesman
"Can I have the red one?" - a top of the range Porsche. "I'll pay
cash!" and starts taking handfuls of bills out of a carrier bag until
she gets to the right price.
The deal is finalized very quickly and the girl drives it away.
She is back two days later and says, "I want my money back...it smells
awfully bad when I use the brakes," she states emphatically.
Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books)
the manager decides to ride in the car with her in case she is not
driving it properly'. He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second
gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80 mph
does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to
accelerate. At 120 mph she shifts into 4th gear; at 145 mph she goes into 5th gear.
The engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the hood when it reaches
170 mph. The scenery is a green blur and the G-force has him pinned in
the seat.
In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a train crossing are
beginning to come down and she will have to slow down. Instead the
pitch of the engine increases! 100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car comes to a screeching halt mere inches from the barrier.
"Can you smell it?" she says.
"SMELL IT? I'M SITTING IN IT!"
A young girl (18ish) walks into a prestige car sales room. Looks around
at all the Porsches, Lamborghini's, Jags etc., and says to the salesman
"Can I have the red one?" - a top of the range Porsche. "I'll pay
cash!" and starts taking handfuls of bills out of a carrier bag until
she gets to the right price.
The deal is finalized very quickly and the girl drives it away.
She is back two days later and says, "I want my money back...it smells
awfully bad when I use the brakes," she states emphatically.
Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books)
the manager decides to ride in the car with her in case she is not
driving it properly'. He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second
gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80 mph
does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to
accelerate. At 120 mph she shifts into 4th gear; at 145 mph she goes into 5th gear.
The engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the hood when it reaches
170 mph. The scenery is a green blur and the G-force has him pinned in
the seat.
In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a train crossing are
beginning to come down and she will have to slow down. Instead the
pitch of the engine increases! 100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car comes to a screeching halt mere inches from the barrier.
"Can you smell it?" she says.
"SMELL IT? I'M SITTING IN IT!"
re: Jokes
Perpetual Motion
When a cat is dropped it always lands on its feet and when toast is dropped it always lands buttered side down. Therefore if a slice of buttered toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast laden felines were used they could form the basis of a high
speed monorail system.
This theory was mailed to mathematicians and physicists,
....and then this mail got the following reply :-
I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while.
In the buttered toast case it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So, to save money you just miss out the toast and butter the cats. Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and
butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet. Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:
where 'p' is the probability of carpet impact, 's' is the 'stain' value of the toast covering substance [an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet]. Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high 's' value, while the 's' value of water is zero, 'tc' & 't(t)' indicate the tone of the carpet and topping, the value of 'p' being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain on if the carpet is the same colour.
So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact, this combination gives a 'p' value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet. Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid-air, whilst there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash. It is, therefore, in the interests of public safety that the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet.
When a cat is dropped it always lands on its feet and when toast is dropped it always lands buttered side down. Therefore if a slice of buttered toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast laden felines were used they could form the basis of a high
speed monorail system.
This theory was mailed to mathematicians and physicists,
....and then this mail got the following reply :-
I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while.
In the buttered toast case it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So, to save money you just miss out the toast and butter the cats. Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and
butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet. Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:
where 'p' is the probability of carpet impact, 's' is the 'stain' value of the toast covering substance [an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet]. Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high 's' value, while the 's' value of water is zero, 'tc' & 't(t)' indicate the tone of the carpet and topping, the value of 'p' being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain on if the carpet is the same colour.
So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact, this combination gives a 'p' value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet. Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid-air, whilst there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash. It is, therefore, in the interests of public safety that the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet.
re: Jokes
Subject: Salesman
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures,$20.00. Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... which now had a button sewed on the end.
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures,$20.00. Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... which now had a button sewed on the end.
re: Jokes
NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.
Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of
absolute values.
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction. He would have
given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more
intelligent or profound statement by the president.
Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of
absolute values.
They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction. He would have
given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more
intelligent or profound statement by the president.
re: Jokes
Category
Oxymoron's
Act naturally
Happily married
Microsoft Works
Holy war
Found missing
Resident alien
Minor Catastrophe
Affordable housing
Near miss
Great depression
Canadian army
Phone sex
United nations
Advanced BASIC
Genuine imitation
Death benefits
Airline Food
Women's rights
Good grief
Same difference
Almost exactly
Sensitive man
Government organization
Everything except
Civil War
Good kid
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Legally drunk
Silent scream
British fashion
Living dead
Small crowd
Business ethics
Soft rock
Butt Head
Military Intelligence
Software documentation
New York culture
New classic
Sweet sorrow
Childproof
"Now, then"
Synthetic natural gas
Christian Scientists
Passive aggressive
Taped live
Clearly misunderstood
Peace force
Extinct Life
Temporary tax increase
New and improved
Computer jock
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Twelve-ounce pound cake
Diet ice cream
Rap music
Working vacation
Exact estimate
Religious tolerance
Freezer Burn
Honest Politician
Jumbo Shrimp
Loners Club
Postal Service
Oxymoron's
Act naturally
Happily married
Microsoft Works
Holy war
Found missing
Resident alien
Minor Catastrophe
Affordable housing
Near miss
Great depression
Canadian army
Phone sex
United nations
Advanced BASIC
Genuine imitation
Death benefits
Airline Food
Women's rights
Good grief
Same difference
Almost exactly
Sensitive man
Government organization
Everything except
Civil War
Good kid
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Legally drunk
Silent scream
British fashion
Living dead
Small crowd
Business ethics
Soft rock
Butt Head
Military Intelligence
Software documentation
New York culture
New classic
Sweet sorrow
Childproof
"Now, then"
Synthetic natural gas
Christian Scientists
Passive aggressive
Taped live
Clearly misunderstood
Peace force
Extinct Life
Temporary tax increase
New and improved
Computer jock
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
Pretty ugly
Twelve-ounce pound cake
Diet ice cream
Rap music
Working vacation
Exact estimate
Religious tolerance
Freezer Burn
Honest Politician
Jumbo Shrimp
Loners Club
Postal Service
re: Jokes
The local game warden in a small town in Oregon had arrested a man for killing and eating an Egret. The man went before a judge to plead his case. After pleading guilty, but with an explanation, the judge asked him why he did it.
"I was just trying to feed my hungry family," he told the judge, "and I've never done anything like that before."
The judge, being a family man himself, had a soft heart and agreed to let the man go free, since he was only trying to feed his starving family and it was his first and only offense.
"Before you go, though, I want to ask you a question," the judge quipped, "What does Egret taste like?"
"Well your Honor," the man told him, "Its not as tender as Spotted Owl but its better than Bald Eagle!"
"I was just trying to feed my hungry family," he told the judge, "and I've never done anything like that before."
The judge, being a family man himself, had a soft heart and agreed to let the man go free, since he was only trying to feed his starving family and it was his first and only offense.
"Before you go, though, I want to ask you a question," the judge quipped, "What does Egret taste like?"
"Well your Honor," the man told him, "Its not as tender as Spotted Owl but its better than Bald Eagle!"
re: Jokes
The FBI Loonies
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place:
The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so.
Click.
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place:
The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so.
Click.