A man struck out on a journey looking for the ultimate answer to life. He travelled extensively, enjoying his experiences to the full. Years later, when he finally arrived back home, he nearly knelt down right there on the lawn in ecstasy to have come full circle, his lofty destination having been gleefully abandoned in the thrill of the journey not long after he'd left. He stared longingly for a few moments, appreciative of home, before going inside. Of course, there was really no one to give thanks to.....for you see, he believed his house, the one purchased at no small cost, simply constructed itself by accident. It's fine, ornate outer structure, though indicative of highly ordered design, simply a dizzyingly complex anomaly. It's lavishly satisfying interior, replete with amenities, all a fuzzy, warm coincidence. And really, who can blame him? He never actually saw the house being built...it was simply already there when he found it and he paid through the nose for the education that enabled him to afford it! Of course, he'd heard fanciful tales of it's construction by intelligent agency.....but he had no time for fairytales. He remembered that once during his long pilgrimage, he'd walked through a large forest and come across a dilapidated cottage. It's roof mostly caved in, broken windows, moss growing on it's stone walls. He went on about his day, thankful that the 'happy accident' he lived in was much better than that primitive hovel!
We are all sharing an amazing journey. When I look at the dazzling signposts all around us in nature, even in ourselves, they all point toward an unfathomably talented and loving intelligence. Do you suppose we may get to meet this most generous and patient 'Landlord' some time in the not too distant future?
I do.
Check out the the inside of that 'hovel', of which there are many millions, that makes up the mansion you occupy right now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxSLw1LMvgk
David, the Psalmist, wrote:
"You yourself produced my kidneys; you kept me screened off in the belly of my mother. I shall laud you because in a fear-inspiring way I am wonderfully made."—Psalm 139:13-16
http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/SBS777/vital/evolutio.html
http://www.rense.com/general71/found.htm
Blessings be upon us all in Yahshua, Jesus Christ
Hovel or Mansion
Moderator: scott
Hovel or Mansion
As most of humanity suffers under tyrants, misled by the devil and his cohorts who've recently been thrown down here, nothing short of Yahshua, King of Kings, will remove these oppressors and bring everlasting peace.
re: Hovel or Mansion
Dear Brother,
hope you do fine, really!
Let me - a very experienced guy - send you a free and gentle wise:
If I was you, Son, I would ask for the words of a ''neutral'' and intelligent person! Not from the ''devil'' and nor from an ''angel'', maybe a ''professional'', you see?
You may not believe me, kid, but you need this!
Your very truly!
Take care!
M. SP june/06
( ''the thread killer! '' )
hope you do fine, really!
Let me - a very experienced guy - send you a free and gentle wise:
If I was you, Son, I would ask for the words of a ''neutral'' and intelligent person! Not from the ''devil'' and nor from an ''angel'', maybe a ''professional'', you see?
You may not believe me, kid, but you need this!
Your very truly!
Take care!
M. SP june/06
( ''the thread killer! '' )
re: Hovel or Mansion
As most of humanity suffers under tyrants, misled by the devil and his cohorts who've recently been thrown down here, nothing short of Yahshua, King of Kings, will remove these oppressors and bring everlasting peace.
re: Hovel or Mansion
One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!" Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike replies. "There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Club card points".
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer printed the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2)Your cat's having kittens.Get a vet
3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer printed the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2)Your cat's having kittens.Get a vet
3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
re: Hovel or Mansion
I see....
Hovel it is then.
God bless
Hovel it is then.
God bless
As most of humanity suffers under tyrants, misled by the devil and his cohorts who've recently been thrown down here, nothing short of Yahshua, King of Kings, will remove these oppressors and bring everlasting peace.
re: Hovel or Mansion
An old lady was wheeling herself around the park next to the Mental Hospital when a man jumped out from the trees, held up his hand and said, "STOP... I think you were speeding there madam, show me your driving license". So the old lady rummages in her handbag, smiles and produces an old cinema ticket. The man looks at it and lets her go.
The following week the old lady is again wheeling herself around the park and out jumps the same man demanding to see her insurance. The old lady smiles and obliges with a Tesco till receipt and continues on her way.
Another week passes and the old lady is once again wheeling herself round the park. From behind the trees the man leaps out, hand in the air, completely naked and sporting and erection. Oh no, groans the old lady - not the Breathalyzer!
The following week the old lady is again wheeling herself around the park and out jumps the same man demanding to see her insurance. The old lady smiles and obliges with a Tesco till receipt and continues on her way.
Another week passes and the old lady is once again wheeling herself round the park. From behind the trees the man leaps out, hand in the air, completely naked and sporting and erection. Oh no, groans the old lady - not the Breathalyzer!
re: Hovel or Mansion
Hi Billl,
This is not the joke thread, but I cannot let you have all the glory! :-)
Subject: Pres. Bush & the Queen
Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a
warm and dignified reception from the Queen.
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a
magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They
continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of
cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious!
Both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen turns to President Bush, "Mr. President,
please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some
things that even a queen cannot control."
George Bush, always trying to be presidential, replied, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."
This is not the joke thread, but I cannot let you have all the glory! :-)
Subject: Pres. Bush & the Queen
Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a
warm and dignified reception from the Queen.
They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a
magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They
continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of
cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious!
Both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen turns to President Bush, "Mr. President,
please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some
things that even a queen cannot control."
George Bush, always trying to be presidential, replied, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."
re: Hovel or Mansion
As most of humanity suffers under tyrants, misled by the devil and his cohorts who've recently been thrown down here, nothing short of Yahshua, King of Kings, will remove these oppressors and bring everlasting peace.
re: Hovel or Mansion
A bloke sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard.
The bloke goes into the back yard and sees a Labrador retriever.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The lab looks up and says: "I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting the world, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But the travel really tired me out, so I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm retired."
The bloke is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars!" the owner says
The bloke says "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
The Owner says "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
The bloke goes into the back yard and sees a Labrador retriever.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The lab looks up and says: "I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting the world, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. But the travel really tired me out, so I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm retired."
The bloke is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars!" the owner says
The bloke says "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
The Owner says "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
re: Hovel or Mansion
Catholic Parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the
Bible. Bring your parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time." The woman responded, "Thank you, this may very well be the solution.
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As
he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their
cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and
placed her parrots in with them.
The female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem.
I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the
Bible. Bring your parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time." The woman responded, "Thank you, this may very well be the solution.
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As
he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their
cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and
placed her parrots in with them.
The female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?" There was stunned silence.
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"