Jokes

[Tarsier79]

Thanks Jim, now I truly know what others think of us here in this forum.

[nicbordeaux]

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,� Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault! "

[rasselasss]

In a P.O.W.camp during W.W.2 an Irishman,an Englishman and a Scotsman dug a tunnel below the perimeter wire fence to escape,unfortunately the tunnel exit was 25 yards short of a forest which they could make good their escape.So they waited until a moonless night at the exit watching a sentry patrolling the wire....the Englishman went first crawling on his belly..a twig snapped and he froze in the pitch darkness when the sentry shouted "halt who goes there"the englishman said miaow-miaow and the sentry said to himself its a cat and went on his way,next was the scotman,same thing snapped a twig snapped the sentry shouted again ,the scot froze and said miaow-miaow and the sentry proceeded on his way,next was the irishman,a twig snapped, he froze when the sentry shouted halt who goes there and the irishman shouted "It's another Cat"...

[murilo]

This is an old one, possible already in the thread:

The large bear and that young rabbit was in the forest, releasing some poo.

The bear asks: 'dude... do you mind when some poo stay over your fur???'

Rabbit: 'oh... never... this is natural and not a problem...'

Then bear gets the small habit and use him as a toilet paper, cleaning his ass.

Here comes LESSON 1: Never respond a question in so quick, without thinking a little!

After three days, the lion meets that bear: 'guy... oh... we couldn't even imagine a stuff like this... I saw you making sex with that rabbit... oh... so strong and wild... bear... you are a huge gay... I have already spread this new to all the people in the forest!!!'

LESSON 2: If you are smart, for sure a smarter will be around!

[murilo]

This is a POLL!

A friend of mine seeks a good name for his dog!

For sure, every country will have a proper nickname. C8

[justsomeone]

Murilo, how about ken?

[rickydog]

Last name Johnson

[Ben]

Bollocks Johnson

[ovyyus]

Ricardo

[jim_mich]

Boner.

[murilo]

Thanks so much for your contribution, guys!

That's why one say 'internet is culture'... 8)

[rlortie]

Preston Stroud sent me this; a new twist on an old scenario:


http://m.wimp.com/perpetualmotion/

[murilo]

Ralph,
as I said before, our competition never sleeps... 8(

[DrWhat]

Call it "Ugly Neighbour"

Then when you call out for the dog, see what happens!

Actually, I'd call it Stiffy!

[daanopperman]

This is a POLL!

A friend of mine seeks a good name for his dog!

For sure, every country will have a proper nickname. C8

Dick