Bullshit........those are nothing!
THIS is COURAGE!!!
Jokes
Moderator: scott
re: Jokes
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"Our education can be the limitation to our imagination, and our dreams"
So With out a dream, there is no vision.
Old and future wheel videos
https://www.youtube.com/user/ABthehammer/videos
Alan
So With out a dream, there is no vision.
Old and future wheel videos
https://www.youtube.com/user/ABthehammer/videos
Alan
re: Jokes
TRAFFIC CAMERA
A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture
was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot,
driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he
drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for
driving without a seat belt.
Men! And they say blondes are dumb
A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture
was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot,
driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed
He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he
drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.
He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was
laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for
driving without a seat belt.
Men! And they say blondes are dumb
re: Jokes
i saw a plumbers truck couple of days ago
had a sign on it that read
you're crap is our bread and butter
had a sign on it that read
you're crap is our bread and butter
the uneducated
if your gona be dumb you gota be tough
Who need drugs when you can have fatigue toxins and caffeine
if your gona be dumb you gota be tough
Who need drugs when you can have fatigue toxins and caffeine
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justsomeone
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re: Jokes
I saw a pic. of a septic pump truck that said " caution, this truck filled with political promises ".
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justsomeone
- Addict
- Posts: 2098
- Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:21 pm
re: Jokes
I must admit Ralph, every time I see that you have posted a new joke
I smile before I even read it cause I know it will probably be good.
Thanks for the laugh.
I smile before I even read it cause I know it will probably be good.
Thanks for the laugh.
re: Jokes
Something to ponder!!
Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but......
2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts Of Asia
2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing
2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of Pigs
around the globe.
Has any-one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****
It gets worse........
next year......
2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but......
2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts Of Asia
2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing
2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of Pigs
around the globe.
Has any-one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****
It gets worse........
next year......
2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
Re: re: Jokes
LOL, well it could start going right by putting the animals in their proper years. 2007 was the year of the pig. 2009 is the year of the ox/bull. Maybe too much bull?rlortie wrote:Something to ponder!!
Don't know if this is just a sick coincidence but......
2007 - Chinese year of the Chicken - Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts Of Asia
2008 - Chinese year of the Horse - Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing
2009 - Chinese year of the Pig - Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of Pigs
around the globe.
Has any-one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
****
It gets worse........
next year......
2010 - Chinese year of the Cock - what could possibly go wrong?
meChANical Man.
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"All things move according to the whims of the great magnet"; Hunter S. Thompson.
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"All things move according to the whims of the great magnet"; Hunter S. Thompson.
re: Jokes
Michael,
Here is my first impression after reading your above response. It is my feelings and not intended to be turned into anything personal.
Once again you have ruined the spirit of a humorous anecdote by exhibiting the powers of your astute mind. Whether you do this intentionally or not is a point which I would rather avoid. Maybe you do not interpret your entry as I do.
Obviously it is 'Bull' putting it in the proper order would change it from a joke to trivia with no humorous content. How in a joke can you relate 2007 as the year of the pig to swine flu in 2009 and still see any humor?
This is a "Joke' thread started by you and for that I give you recognition thank you! As you can see it is quite popular can we please leave it that way!
Ralph
Here is my first impression after reading your above response. It is my feelings and not intended to be turned into anything personal.
Once again you have ruined the spirit of a humorous anecdote by exhibiting the powers of your astute mind. Whether you do this intentionally or not is a point which I would rather avoid. Maybe you do not interpret your entry as I do.
Obviously it is 'Bull' putting it in the proper order would change it from a joke to trivia with no humorous content. How in a joke can you relate 2007 as the year of the pig to swine flu in 2009 and still see any humor?
This is a "Joke' thread started by you and for that I give you recognition thank you! As you can see it is quite popular can we please leave it that way!
Ralph
re: Jokes
If the irony was real I would have LMAO. I didn't think you wrote the joke and certainly no harm meant to you Ralph. Just trying to use humour to clear up a misunderstanding.
To humour...clink. Call the joke on me then and I'll pull the plug out of my butt.
To humour...clink. Call the joke on me then and I'll pull the plug out of my butt.
meChANical Man.
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"All things move according to the whims of the great magnet"; Hunter S. Thompson.
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"All things move according to the whims of the great magnet"; Hunter S. Thompson.
re: Jokes
Dumb but funny!
A bicycle can’t stand alone because it’s two-tired.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism it’s your Count
that votes.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully re-covered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often had to break into song because he couldn’t fine the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
When you’ve seen one big shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
A bicycle can’t stand alone because it’s two-tired.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism it’s your Count
that votes.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully re-covered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often had to break into song because he couldn’t fine the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
When you’ve seen one big shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
re: Jokes
"I do not need your help in math as I do not use it. I don't even use plans when I build my own designs from scratch, I visualize what I want in my head and go for it. I learn more by mistakes and accident than your math will ever provide."
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- Learn moe by making mistakes!