Jokes

[rlortie]

Unable to open the above video, takes me to an advertisement, then it says to click here for video and I end up on Bing's home page.

In the meantime here is my chuckle for the day;

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
and begins to read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Ralph

[murilo]

There is a serious problem I see with gravity devices application, when they come.

If you install PMs in any roof, houses or buildings, they will cause the gravity consumption... they'll cause 'g' losses and low mass interference in the environment/ambient in below.

So, be sure, better will be to install them directly over the floor.

Edition: This phenomenon is called 'gravity-sink'.

Take care!
M

8)))))))

[rlortie]

Murilo,

Some environmentalists believe that a gravity powered device will eventually slow the rotation of earth, It is referred to as 'Motion Pollution' and to them this is not a joke!

Ralph

[Grimer]

There is a serious problem I see with gravity devices application, when they come.

If you install PMs in any roof, houses or buildings, they will cause the gravity consumption... they'll cause 'g' losses and low mass interference in the environment/ambient in below.

So, be sure, better will be to install them directly over the floor.

Edition: This phenomenon is called 'gravity-sink'.

Take care!
M

8)))))))

Absolutely true. But the sub-nucleonic cross section on which the gravitational wind particles act are so incredibly minute that the effect is negligible and needs something the size of the moon to show up.

And if you read the literature on eclipse experiments you will see that the effect has actually shown up and IIRC it even has a name.

[murilo]

Murilo,

Some environmentalists believe that a gravity powered device will eventually slow the rotation of earth, It is referred to as 'Motion Pollution' and to them this is not a joke!

Ralph

Ralph,
I believe this may happen due to natural reasons.
For example, due to all solids arriving all seconds from outer space!
If 'our' mass increases... some day it will make difference!
Best!
M

[murilo]

There is a serious problem I see with gravity devices application, when they come.

If you install PMs in any roof, houses or buildings, they will cause the gravity consumption... they'll cause 'g' losses and low mass interference in the environment/ambient in below.

So, be sure, better will be to install them directly over the floor.

Edition: This phenomenon is called 'gravity-sink'.

Take care!
M

8)))))))

Absolutely true. But the sub-nucleonic cross section on which the gravitational wind particles act are so incredibly minute that the effect is negligible and needs something the size of the moon to show up.

And if you read the literature on eclipse experiments you will see that the effect has actually shown up and IIRC it even has a name.

Grimer,
this is not the first time I read you and others talking about 'gravitational wind'!
If you allow me, I disagree 1000% about wind/push concept.
My mind just can't accept this vision.
I do accept 'gravity mystery' as the reverse memory for the last big-bang... since pulsation, cycles, binary events... is an universal rule, or law.
This means that there is a reverse principle of the expansion... simple!
This will never exclude GOD of all principles... much contrary.
Best!
M

[DrWhat]

The world ended yesterday. None of us are really here!

[AB Hammer]

Someone somewhere went to sleep and dreamed us all alive.
Dreams get pushed around a lot, so I doubt if we survive.
We won't get to wake up, dreams where born to disappear.
And I am pretty sure that none of us are here.

(Jim Stafford)

[murilo]

... relativity, dear... relativity...
... relative to our fragile mind, cognition and signs...
... stuffs of the soul...
... nothing more, nothing less...

[Grimer]

Absolutely true. But the sub-nucleonic cross section on which the gravitational wind particles act are so incredibly minute that the effect is negligible and needs something the size of the moon to show up.

And if you read the literature on eclipse experiments you will see that the effect has actually shown up and IIRC it even has a name.

Grimer,
this is not the first time I read you and others talking about 'gravitational wind'!
If you allow me, I disagree 1000% about wind/push concept.
My mind just can't accept this vision.
...

Certainly I can "allow" you. The forum is here so that everyone can freely express their opinions.

And as for God, I wouldn't dream of excluding him from anything as the First Cause, Uncaused.

As that famous piece of doggerel puts it:

There was a young man who said, “God,
I find it exceedingly odd
That a tree as a tree, simply ceases to be
When there’s no one around in the quad.�

“Young man, your astonishment’s odd.
For I’m always around in the quad.
So a tree as a tree never ceases to be
Since observed by yours faithfully, God.�

[murilo]

Grimer,

BANG!!! 8)

Best!
M.

[rlortie]

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.


So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun....."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.

This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"

The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up..

He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

[Grimer]

Good one.

But I probably like it coz I'm a senior and not a lawyer.

[murilo]

Grimer,
I'm worry about you!
You expended two days with the same avatar!
What happens?
Case you have now few options, I can lend you a photo of mine for one or two days. 8)
Best!
M

[rlortie]

Subject: presidents day

I was eating lunch on the 20th of February with my 10-year-old grandson and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?"

He said "It's President's Day!"

He is a smart kid.

I asked "What does President's Day mean?"
I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln ... Etc.

He replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

You know, it hurts when coffee spurts out your nose...