An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his
collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then
followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the
corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed
his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off
and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the
owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost
every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his
collar: 'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's
trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'
Jokes
Moderator: scott
re: Jokes
Subject: A bell story
John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose
job it was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into
the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so
he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each
bell had a different tone, so John could tell from a distance which
rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an
efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he
was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell
hadn't rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets,
bells-a-ring ing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run
for cover.
But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so
it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to
the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County
Fair, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result...
The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize, but they
awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted
awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace
and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose
job it was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into
the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so
he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each
bell had a different tone, so John could tell from a distance which
rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an
efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he
was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell
hadn't rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets,
bells-a-ring ing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run
for cover.
But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so
it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to
the next one.
John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County
Fair, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result...
The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize, but they
awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a
politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted
awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace
and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
re: Jokes
Subject: Just to make you smile
A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the
house. His mother tells him to stop it but the boy continues. "Johnny!"?
Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Johnny
starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store.
He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.
Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea run.
She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her
doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he?
assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc."Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks. He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"
A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the
house. His mother tells him to stop it but the boy continues. "Johnny!"?
Mom screams. "Knock it off. You're going to break something." He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Johnny
starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store.
He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.
Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea run.
She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her
doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he?
assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc."Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks. He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"
re: Jokes
While on his morning walk, Prime Minister Gordon Brown falls over, has a heart attack and dies because the accident and emergency dept at his nearest hospital is too understaffed to treat him in time.
So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Welcome to Heaven,' says Saint Peter, 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer,' says the PM.
'I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity.'
'But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,' replies Brown.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules,' Peter interjects. And, with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down ...all the way to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course. The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22°C degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it is Harold Wilson and thousands of other Socialist luminaries who had helped him out over the years --- John Smith, Michael Foot, Jim Callaghan, etc. The whole of the Labour Party leaders were there. Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.'
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
The Devil himself comes up to Brown with a frosty drink, 'Have a tequila and relax, Gord!'
'Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge,' says Brown, dejectedly.
'This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!'
Brown takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labour Party pulled with the European Constitution and the Education, Immigration, Tough on Crime promises.
They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Brown steps on the elevator and heads upward.
When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit Heaven,' the old man says, opening the gate.
So for 24 hours Brown is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or regretted joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn't see anybody he knows and he isn't even treated like someone special!
'Whoa,' he says uncomfortably to himself. 'Harold Wilson never prepared me for this!'
The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, 'Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity.'
With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Brown reflects for a minute ... Then answers: 'Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.'
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.
The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback, but worse and more desolate. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.
The Devil comes over to Brown and puts an arm around his shoulder.' I don't understand,' stammers a shocked Brown, 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!'
The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs,
'Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!'
So his soul arrives in Heaven and he is met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
'Welcome to Heaven,' says Saint Peter, 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Socialist around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in; I'm a good Christian; I'm a believer,' says the PM.
'I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from God Himself. He says that since the implementation of his new HEAVEN CHOICES policy, you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity.'
'But I've already made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,' replies Brown.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules,' Peter interjects. And, with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down ...all the way to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course. The sun is shining in a cloudless sky. The temperature is a perfect 22°C degrees. In the distance is a beautiful club-house. Standing in front of it is Harold Wilson and thousands of other Socialist luminaries who had helped him out over the years --- John Smith, Michael Foot, Jim Callaghan, etc. The whole of the Labour Party leaders were there. Everyone laughing, happy, and casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, to hug him and to reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at the expense of 'suckers and peasants.'
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.
The Devil himself comes up to Brown with a frosty drink, 'Have a tequila and relax, Gord!'
'Uh, I can't drink anymore, I took a pledge,' says Brown, dejectedly.
'This is Hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry and it just gets better from there!'
Brown takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly bloke who tells funny jokes like himself and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like the ones the Labour Party pulled with the European Constitution and the Education, Immigration, Tough on Crime promises.
They are having such a great time that, before he realises it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Brown steps on the elevator and heads upward.
When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and Saint Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit Heaven,' the old man says, opening the gate.
So for 24 hours Brown is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or regretted joke among them. No fancy country clubs here and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor. He doesn't see anybody he knows and he isn't even treated like someone special!
'Whoa,' he says uncomfortably to himself. 'Harold Wilson never prepared me for this!'
The day done, Saint Peter returns and says, 'Well, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for Eternity.'
With the 'Deal or No Deal' theme playing softly in the background, Brown reflects for a minute ... Then answers: 'Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends.'
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell.
The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial wasteland, looking a bit like the eroded, rabbit and fox affected Australian outback, but worse and more desolate. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the roadside rubbish and putting it into black plastic bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime.
The Devil comes over to Brown and puts an arm around his shoulder.' I don't understand,' stammers a shocked Brown, 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a club-house and we ate lobster and caviar and drank tequila. We lazed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!'
The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly and purrs,
'Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us!'
re: Jokes
Two London businessmen were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshireman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked "What's tha sellin' ere?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arse-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshireman said, "Tha's doing well ... Only two left!"
The moral for Southerners - Don't mess with Yorkshiremen!!!
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshireman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked "What's tha sellin' ere?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arse-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshireman said, "Tha's doing well ... Only two left!"
The moral for Southerners - Don't mess with Yorkshiremen!!!
re: Jokes
Atonhishing! ( true stuff!)
I needed to buy a gift for a girl of the family and I wen to a toy's store.
The idea was to buy her a Barbie Doll.
The sales girl was very kind... she offered me, according the list:
Barbie goes swimm, $19.95
Barbie goes gymm $19.95
Barbie goes free-energy $19.95
Barbie goes shopping $19.95
Barbie goes Rio de Janeiro $ 8.95 ( few clothes, of sure.)
Barbie divorced lawier $ 298.95
I said: ''Wow!'' and asked why so expensive this Barbie divorced lawier?
So the kind sales girl, patiently facing my ignorance, told me:
''Yesss, Missster... the Barbie divorced lawier goes with some extra accessories, as the Bob's boat, the Bob's Rolls Royce, the Bob' chopper,
the Bob's forniture and the Bob's cell phone...''
Thinking of you all, I bought a ''Barbie goes free energy'', $ 19.95...
I needed to buy a gift for a girl of the family and I wen to a toy's store.
The idea was to buy her a Barbie Doll.
The sales girl was very kind... she offered me, according the list:
Barbie goes swimm, $19.95
Barbie goes gymm $19.95
Barbie goes free-energy $19.95
Barbie goes shopping $19.95
Barbie goes Rio de Janeiro $ 8.95 ( few clothes, of sure.)
Barbie divorced lawier $ 298.95
I said: ''Wow!'' and asked why so expensive this Barbie divorced lawier?
So the kind sales girl, patiently facing my ignorance, told me:
''Yesss, Missster... the Barbie divorced lawier goes with some extra accessories, as the Bob's boat, the Bob's Rolls Royce, the Bob' chopper,
the Bob's forniture and the Bob's cell phone...''
Thinking of you all, I bought a ''Barbie goes free energy'', $ 19.95...
re: Jokes
And then the fight started.....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started.....
*******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started.....
************************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him an d said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started...
************************************************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started.....
*******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started.....
************************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him an d said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started...
************************************************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
Ralph, I was crying for ages after reading this.."I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him an d said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started... "
re: Jokes
Two ladies talking in heaven:
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Berniece. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home
early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened? 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down
into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had
looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer--- we'd both still be alive.
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! I'm Berniece. How'd you die?
1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home
early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened? 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down
into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had
looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer--- we'd both still be alive.
re: Jokes
From a fellow forum member,
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone
failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions,
when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this
psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his
test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the
telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel
chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was
called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit , thus causing the phone to
ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
Thought you'd like to know
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone
failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions,
when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this
psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his
test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the
telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel
chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was
called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit , thus causing the phone to
ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
Thought you'd like to know
re: Jokes
A guy finds a lamp and according routine, there came the genius:
- Yessss.... masssster..... you have the right to one desire to come true!
- One? One single desire?
- Yessss... one or nothing...
- OK! Let's say... I want a bridge... I want to drive from Rio de Janeiro up to Lisbon, in Portugal!
- What??? A bridge across the Atlantic??? Are you crazzy??? Can you imagine this kind of job and material??? No, let's negociate... PLEASE, take another desire, please... hmm...?
- OK! So, make me able to understand women!
- ???!!! Well... Would you be happy with four ways to go and four to come back?
- Yessss.... masssster..... you have the right to one desire to come true!
- One? One single desire?
- Yessss... one or nothing...
- OK! Let's say... I want a bridge... I want to drive from Rio de Janeiro up to Lisbon, in Portugal!
- What??? A bridge across the Atlantic??? Are you crazzy??? Can you imagine this kind of job and material??? No, let's negociate... PLEASE, take another desire, please... hmm...?
- OK! So, make me able to understand women!
- ???!!! Well... Would you be happy with four ways to go and four to come back?
re: Jokes
Subject: Fwd: Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM . . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk
to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'
'How much do you charge?' 'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever
come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of
money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all
that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'
'Is that so! With an attitude he asked 'And how, may I ask, did a
bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now ! ! !
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM . . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk
to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.'
'How much do you charge?' 'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever
come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.
'Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of
money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all
that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!'
'Is that so! With an attitude he asked 'And how, may I ask, did a
bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now ! ! !
re: Jokes
:))))))))
Ha... haa... haaaaaa...
( just a little lough to record this beautifull date! :)
Regs.
Murilo SP 08/08/08
Ha... haa... haaaaaa...
( just a little lough to record this beautifull date! :)
Regs.
Murilo SP 08/08/08